Listening Before You Lead - How Incontinent Yogis Learn to Trust Their Bodies Again

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After release comes choice.

After choice comes something even quieter: listening.

For many incontinent yogis, the hardest part of practice isn’t strength or flexibility, it’s learning to trust the signals of a body that once felt unpredictable, embarrassing, or unsafe. Leaks, urgency, protection, and vigilance can teach us to override sensation instead of respond to it.

This post is about undoing that habit, slowly, kindly, and without pressure.

When the Body Learned Not to Speak

If you live with incontinence, chances are your body learned some protective strategies that made sense at the time:

  • Clenching before you move

  • Bracing “just in case”

  • Ignoring early signals

  • Distrusting softness

These aren’t failures. They’re adaptations.

But yoga invites something different, not control, but conversation.

Listening is how that conversation begins.

What “Listening” Actually Means in Practice

Listening isn’t waiting for perfection or clarity.
It’s noticing without rushing to fix.

On the mat, listening might sound like:

  • “I’m already holding.”

  • “That feels safer supported.”

  • “I need to pause here.”

  • “I don’t need to engage yet.”

Listening doesn’t demand action.
It just asks for honesty.

Practices That Build Trust (Without Forcing Change)

Try these as invitations, not assignments:

🌬 Breath Check-Ins

Before any pose, ask:

  • Is my breath shallow or deep?

  • Am I gripping anywhere?

  • Can I exhale a little longer?

Let the answer guide you.

🧘 Slow Transitions

Move between poses at half speed, or slower.
Urgency often masks fear. Slowness builds safety.

🪷 Supported Rest

Use blocks, bolsters, walls, or the floor.
Support isn’t weakness, it’s information.

🔄 Engage, Then Release

If you gently lift the pelvic floor, always follow it with a full release.
Trust is built when the body knows it can let go again.

When Listening Brings Up Emotion

Sometimes listening reveals more than sensation.
It may uncover grief, frustration, shame, or relief.

If that happens:

  • You’re not doing yoga wrong.

  • You don’t need to push through.

  • You don’t need to explain it away.

Stay. Breathe. Be witnessed, by yourself.

Living This Beyond the Mat

Listening shows up off the mat too:

  • Choosing clothing that feels safe, not performative

  • Trusting your protection instead of fighting it

  • Letting rest be productive

  • Responding to leaks with care, not punishment

The goal isn’t fewer needs.
It’s gentler responses.

A Soft Truth

Your body isn’t broken; it’s been working very hard.

Listening doesn’t mean everything suddenly improves.
It means you stop abandoning yourself when it doesn’t.

And that, quietly, steadily, is where real confidence begins.

What’s Next in This Series

  • Alice’s Crinkle & Release Flow (guided sequence)

  • Daily Check-Ins for Padded Bodies

  • Practicing in Public Spaces Without Bracing

No rush. No pressure.
Just you, your mat, and a body learning it can be trusted again.

🌸 Your Turn
Have you noticed moments where your body asked for something, and you listened?
What changed when you didn’t override it?

Your experience belongs here.
Every crinkle, every pause, every breath.

— Alice in Yoga Pants ✨

#AliceInYogaPants #CrinkleAndFlow #PelvicFloorAwareness #IncontinentYogi #YogaWithDisability
#GentleStrength #ReleaseBeforeStrength #SoftPractice #DiapersAndYoga #TraumaInformedYoga

Location: Southern Pines, NC, USA

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