🌿 Gentle Strength: The Day I Stopped Fighting My Body

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Part of the Soft Strength Series
by Alice in Yoga Pants

For a long time, I treated my body like a problem to solve.

If I could just hold tighter.
Control more.
Hide better.
Strengthen harder.

That was the mindset I brought into movement, into clothing, into yoga and especially into living with incontinence.

But the day everything changed wasn’t the day I got stronger.

It was the day I stopped fighting.

The Mistake I Didn’t Know I Was Making

Like a lot of people, I thought strength meant effort.

More engagement.
More tension.
More discipline.

When my body leaked, I tightened.
When my clothes felt vulnerable, I layered harder.
When I stepped into leggings, I braced.

I didn’t realize I was living in a constant low-level clench, physically and emotionally.

And no amount of strength grows well in clenched soil.

Yoga Didn’t Teach Me Strength, It Taught Me Permission

The first real shift came during a quiet yoga class.

Nothing dramatic.
No breakthrough pose.
Just a moment where a teacher said:

“If you’re gripping, you’re probably doing too much.”

That landed deeper than I expected.

Because gripping had become my default, in my core, my pelvic floor, my jaw, even my sense of self.

So I tried something radical.

I softened.

What Happened When I Let Go

Here’s the surprising part:

When I stopped fighting my body…

  • I moved more freely

  • My balance improved

  • My leaks didn’t get worse; they got more predictable

  • My confidence didn’t collapse, it settled

Gentle strength didn’t mean weakness.
It meant support instead of force.

It meant choosing leggings that held me without compressing.
It meant letting my layers work together.
It meant trusting my body enough to listen to it.

Softness Is Not the Opposite of Strength

This is where so many of us get stuck, especially men.

We’re taught that softness is surrender.
That accommodation is failure.
That visibility means exposure.

But what I learned is this:

Softness is how strength becomes sustainable.

I didn’t stop being strong when I softened.
I stopped being exhausted.

Living Gently in a Body That Needs Care

Living with incontinence already asks a lot of us.

It asks for planning.
It asks for honesty.
It asks for self-awareness.

Yoga and leggings, and comfort taught me that care doesn’t have to be hidden or apologetic.

Care can be visible.
Care can be soft.
Care can look like choosing comfort and letting that be enough.

Final Thought

If you’re still fighting your body, I understand.

I did for years.

But if you’re ready to try something different, even just a little, start here:

Loosen your grip.
Choose softness where you can.
Let your strength come from support, not force.

That’s where everything changed for me.

#AliceInYogaPants #LayeringForLeakage #ProudlyPadded #IncontinenceSupport #YogaLife #HighRiseLeggings #SoftStrength #BodyAcceptance #SoftStrengthSeries

Location: Southern Pines, NC, USA

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