Proud, Padded, and Deserving: Helping Veterans Fight for the Incontinence Care They’ve Earned

 

By Alice, a Army Vet in yoga pants and diapers who’s been there.

When people think of veterans, they don’t picture adult diapers. But maybe they should. Because the truth is, many of us come home from service with wounds—visible or not—that leave us struggling with bladder control, PTSD, and a medical system that’s often more ready to hand us a mop than a real solution. I know, because I’ve lived it.

I’m a U.S. Army veteran. I also live with severe urinary incontinence. My condition was made worse by going undiagnosed at first and then the medications I was prescribed. At first, I tried to tough it out. I felt ashamed. I fought every instinct I had just to admit I needed better support than what the VA offered. They gave me Depends—cheap, ineffective, and nowhere near enough to manage my full nighttime voids.

I was waking up soaked, cold, and angry. It wasn’t just about being wet—it was about feeling dehumanized. Like I didn’t matter enough to be dry. Like I was supposed to just accept it.

I didn’t.

Out of desperation, I started paying out of pocket for real protection—NorthShore MEGAMAX, BetterDry, and yes, sometimes even Rearz diapers when I wanted a little extra absorbency and softness. I learned to sleep through the night again. I found peace. I even started learning how to feel cute in my protection, not ashamed.

But the VA still refused to prescribe anything like what I actually needed. Sound familiar?

Recently, I saw a post from a fellow veteran—a Marine struggling with PTSD-related incontinence, waking up soaked, begging his urologist for something better than Depends—and being told no. My heart broke for him, because I knew exactly how that felt. So I replied. I told him my story. And now I’m telling you: 

You deserve better.
You earned the right to sleep through the night.
You earned the right to dignity.
You earned the right to a damn dry bed.

What Helped Me Get Real Protection from the VA:
Request a consult with a wound/continence nurse. Urologists often treat the plumbing, not the products. Continence nurses get it and are more likely to recommend briefs that actually work.

Work directly with the prosthetics/supplies coordinator. You can bypass some medical gatekeeping by submitting a needs-based request, especially if you’ve had skin issues or infections.

Bring proof. I brought packaging and performance data from NorthShore and explained how these matched the discontinued ConfiDry 24/7 briefs the VA used to offer.

Have your psych or primary doc back you up. If incontinence impacts your mental health, sleep, or trauma recovery, get that documented.

Speak from dignity, not shame. You are not asking for something extra. You’re asking for what’s necessary to protect your body and peace of mind.

And if they still won’t budge? It’s okay to invest in yourself while you fight for what you deserve. You’re not weak for needing diapers. You’re strong for adapting—and for refusing to be soaked in silence.

Final Thoughts from a Soft, Diapered Vet
These days, I live a gentler life. I wear yoga pants. I carry a Lululemon tote bag with diapers in it. I call myself Alice. I’m a proud vet who wears plastic pants and Rearz DayDreamers under my leggings. And guess what?

I’m still a veteran.
I still served.
And I still deserve respect—and so do you.

So if you’re struggling with the VA, speak up. Push back. Show them your soaked Depends and demand something better. You’re not alone in this, and you’re not broken. You’re adapting. That’s what warriors do. 💙

With softness and strength,
Alice (aka the diapered vet in yoga pants)

Tags: #AliceInYogaPants, #DiaperedYoga, #VisibleHealing, #SoftnessIsStrength, #SelfAcceptance, #ToteBagDiaries, #SupportSunday, #CrinkleAndFlow, #PelvicFloorHealing, #OutfitDiary